It can't always be perfect, right? Please Help!

Ok, I usually try to keep my blog topics happy and informative on the good things - I try... Well, I have a problem and need some advice.

Terrible 2's - at 21 months. (nuff said)

I have to preface the bad with the good, there is so much more that is good than bad.

Nate is such a fun and happy kid most of the time, he has so much energy and is so busy exploring and discovering and pushing his boundaries. He is brilliant and knows more words than I can count, I am working on making a list :) He loves going swimming and playing with his cousins, and is always trying to help keep the newest baby, Aaron, happy and constantly giving him his Binky (Aaron's not Nate's) and will hold his little fingers in the car and give him loves. He adores all of his cousins but has a special love for Jenna, she can make him laugh harder than pretty much everyone and when he sees her he gets so excited you can see it run through his whole body.

Nate can climb anything and will hang from the swing set, kitchen table and anything else and pulls his feet up to his hands (he will be a gymnast). He adores trains, especially Grandpa Gerry's one that lights up choo choo's, Nate will dance and run in place to the rhythm. Speaking of rhythm he is already so musical its kind of scary, he sings and dances along to music in the car. There is a Muse song, Uprising, that he sings the chorus - right notes and beat... It is so cute! Nate also loves books, he is so happy when he's reading, and will make all the animal, car, truck, boat sounds he can while reading, he does tend to tear the flaps off of books to see whats under them (all the way), but its ok.

He has made a somewhat smooth transition into his big boy bed, its been set up in his room for months and occasionally he took a nap or slept in the night there (if I had to lay with him to fall asleep). Then a couple weeks before Corrine had her baby we decided to just go for it (the crib was a loaner from Corrine) so one morning I took down the crib and moved the toddler bed to its spot and rearranged the room a bit to make it safer for him, and he's been so great since, the first few nights and naps were flawless, then he realized his freedom and we've had to get him off the floor a couple times. When he wakes up he'll just knock, well bang, on the door until we come and let him out. I must be a bit of a push over though because he goes to bed when I am not home way better than when I am. He knows that daddy means business and mommy would rather hold him for a few more minutes... I am working on that, I just love it when he's snugly.

Nate also loves animals, especially the kitty's that Brooke and Dave have, he begs me to take him to the "mow's" and will just crouch down by them and try to pet them and then talk to them and play with them with their toys. He also tries to feed them (and has only eaten the food once - that I know of) the cats tolerate him pretty well, he's growing on them.  Oh, and he loves Dave so much, they will play together and he is so happy and just runs around, its wonderful! I wish I had as much energy as Dave...

Ok, so there is a list of the wonderful things - but with each thought of those I remember the tantrum that followed or was close at hand, this is what I need help with. In most cases its fine, he's learning and growing, but a few times each day it gets way out of control. He is frequently hitting and headbutting and in very bad cases biting (if he gets within reach). If I take something from him that he shouldn't have, he will try hitting it out of my hand and then hitting me and if that doesn't work he will use his whole body as a battering ram and when that fails he crumples to the floor in angry sobbing yells.

One of the biggest problems is nursery because he is one of the youngest but biggest and one of 2 boys in the class. So when he gets going he's wild and gets a bit rough with the girls, they are all very dainty girls... We dropped him off the first couple weeks and when we picked him up one of the teachers was holding his hand kind of restraining him and they said that he had to have a couple timeouts because he was hitting.

So then we have taken him and he seems fine but he plays with us, not with the other kids. The pushing and hitting goes both ways from my observation, but he is more noticeable because he yells no, or the other kids cries/whines. When he gets hit or pushed he just goes on playing or pushes back. Although his using any toy as a weapon is definitely a problem. He naps usually at about 11 or 11:30 which is mid nursery, so we've been avoiding the battle and just taking him home. I want him to go, he wants to go and really enjoys it when he's there, he doesn't care if we leave. I just don't feel like I can because of the teachers. When they see us coming the kind of cringe, which makes me really not want to take him. There is no way he'd make it through Sunday School because he has too much energy. Some weeks its impossible to keep him relatively quiet during Sacrament Meeting, and by the end I am exhausted and need a nap myself.

Also when we go out in public he is a major handful. He is so fast and strong that he runs, everywhere. If I put him in the stroller he fights me by arching his back and sliding himself down, or folding in half forward so that I can't buckle him in. He's ok in a shopping cart for a few minutes, extra minutes can be bought with snacks, but he throws things. Walking is a whole other nightmare, he want to jump so if you have just one hand he will jump and then like drag his feet (this is also a strategy to get me to let go of him) He'll lay down on the floor and whine or yell. So I got a backpack leash thing to give him some extra freedom, but the other day he popped the loop from my end of the leash because he took off so fast and around something that it popped.

This public issue is stressing me out especially because we are going to Disneyland in October and I am afraid of how he's going to behave.

One more interesting problem is stranger danger, well the lack of stranger danger. If I pick him up or Jake picks him up and he doesn't want to he'll holler and yell No No No, but someone he doesn't know he will let them hold him and even snuggle up to them... It really freaks me out. I am glad he is ok with other people but would like it for me not to look like the person trying to abduct him.

Ok, that is my list for now. I am ready to try any and all suggestions to help him behave better, I would love to have some play dates/play group things but am afraid that he will be mean to the other kids...