Spiritual Note

So I might be a slow learner, but there has been a message I needed to learn and it has finally sunk in, hopefully.

I have been finding myself angry a lot lately, at people and things I have no control over. I have let these feelings fester and even spread them around. And even though I knew logically I couldn't change the things happening I was angry that they were happening and that no one would do anything to fix them.

I was told by my wise mother that the only thing I could do was control my actions, reactions and feelings. Like a dumb kid I brushed her off as not understanding my side and maybe not caring enough about my feelings.

Apparently it was so important for me to learn this lesson that my brushing her off didn't stop the promptings from coming and guiding me to action.

I believe the the Holy Ghost works through us to help each other and that if we don't listen to the people around us that he make the answers show up in other ways. This time it was Harry Potter, Sacrament Meeting, Sunday School, Relief Society, Army Wives and Good Morning America, it took a lot of effort for it to come together in my mind.

Instead of letting things that others do make me mad, I need to just love them for who they are and overlook the problematic things that get me so worked up.

Many times we say things and don't realize are biting comments or might hurt another person's feelings, everyone does it, sometimes we realize it and apologize and other times we don't recognize the hurt we've caused or we are too proud to admit we were insensitive. And other times we might do it to prove a point, knowing what the effect of the comments will be.

We aren't perfect, and as hard as we try we all might slip and let things comments happen, but if we are aware of it then maybe we can prevent them from happening as often.

I need to be grateful for what I have and focus on the good times and acts of kindness that surround me. I also need to remember the times that I might act in a way that would hurt the feelings of those around me and remember that I have been forgiven or given other chances to prove that I am a caring person.

I am determined now to apply that in my life, I cannot control or judge things other people say or do because it is their agency that they are using and I cannot inflict mine on them, just like they can't make me do what they do.

In reacting how I have in the past I fill my mind and life with anger, hostility and resentment, and the only person that hurts is myself. It makes me act in a way that resembles the things that have hurt my feelings, I become the problem and the insensitive person...

It is internal and if I let it could go on to affect the relationships I have. With my family and especially with my Father in Heaven.